The Fan Girls
by littlemalfoy
Summary: Sev takes the pupils on a trip to study muggles,but when a girl decides to show Severus her copy of "Harry Potter",it all goes awry. How did these people find out about them?Who is Rowling?And who the hell are these girls who keep trying to jump his bones
1. Chapter 1

**The Fan girls**

Severus Snape was annoyed. He was sitting in a hot, filthy bus with more than fifty noisy children behind him. Directly beside him sat the smiling, cheerful Albus Dumbledore.

"Let's sing another song!" The old man announced. "The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round!"

The students eagerly joined in, and Severus couldn't help but groan.

"Albus, are you sure this is completely necessary?" he asked, rubbing his temples.

"Of course it is! What better way for the students to learn muggle studies than to visit the muggles?"

Severus shook his head and stared out of the window.

About an hour later, they arrived. Severus was the first one out of the bus, his Slytherins quickly following behind him.

"What was _that_?" Draco whined, his face green. "Why do muggles use that ugly yellow machine? It takes hours to get somewhere, and it smells!"

"The night bus is much faster." Blaise agreed, then paused to put his hand over his mouth as he almost gagged.

"Muggles?" a voice asked excitedly.

Everyone froze. A muggle had overheard their conversation. Severus glared at his students before turning to the woman.

"I think you misheard, Miss," he explained. "No one said – what was that word – _muggies_?"

"Oh, I think they did…_Professor Snape_." The red head grinned widely, her eyes bright.

Severus immediately relaxed.

"You're a witch." He breathed.

Everyone immediately relaxed and began chatting again, careful not to mention anything magical incase muggles were near.

"Who are you? Are you following us?" Severus asked suspiciously.

"I don't know why you assumed I was a witch." The woman whispered, practically bouncing from one foot to another. "I'm not. I just read this."

She fished in her bag and pulled out a book. Severus quickly snatched it, paling when he read the cover.

_Harry Potter and The Sorcerers Stone._


	2. Trapped

"How did you get this?" Severus hissed, anger quickly replacing his shock.

The woman shrugged.

"Barnes and Nobles. I've got all seven. For all intents and purposes, you're supposed to be dead. A snake bites you." She paused. "We're glad that you're not dead, though. Sexy men are dropping like flies these days."

"Se – wait, _we_? How many of you are there?"

The girl didn't answer him. She was too busy staring at his lips. Rolling his eyes, he shook her slightly.

"You've got a beautiful voice." She whispered. "How is it that you are alive anyway?"

"Miss Granger found the antidote in my pocket," Severus explained distractedly. "You didn't answer my question. How many muggles know about us?"

"Oh, millions, I'd say. By the way, I'm Andie." She extended a hand, which he eyed distastefully until she shoved it in her pocket. "There are at least a hundred just five minutes away from here – and they all have the hots for you."

Severus eyed her warily, slightly confused.

"A Snape fangirl convention." Andie explained.

_There can't _actually_ be a hundred,_ he reasoned, _I can oblivate them quickly and come back before Albus notices._

"Take me to this…convention." Severus demanded.

Andie looked slightly worried.

"That might not be too safe for you." She said carefully.

"I can take care of myself." He snapped, annoyed.

A few muggles to beat off? Severus wasn't worried.

Severus was genuinely worried – panicked even. Presently he was running as fast as he could, his robes billowing like crazy behind him, but he couldn't escape the crowds of randy women following him. He'd thought Andie was exaggerating – boy, was he wrong. If anything, she'd underestimated the amount of women there would be. There must have been at _least _three hundred women bent on raping him, and he'd foolishly left his want in his suitcase, sure he wouldn't need it.

How the hell was he supposed to get out of this?


End file.
